and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
ugly people sure do ruin things
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
