; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
