"it" just moved
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
