But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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