I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Less talking, more tequila
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
