And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Randomize
