Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
