Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
