So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Randomize
