Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Randomize
