My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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