So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
