everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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