Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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