Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
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