Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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