1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
