haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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