His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
