please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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