I'll bet she douches with gravy.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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