would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
