I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
