Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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