dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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