I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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