I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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