So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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