All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
