In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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