you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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