maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
