Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm gonna have a badass scar
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
