"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
