once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
