I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
