What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
