He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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