I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
