Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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