when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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