I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
