So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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