No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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