i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
North Korea, Best Korea!
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
