The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
