I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
