My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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