well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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