Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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